Julia Sullivan | Vox

I’m a semi-successful adult with a decent job. Why do financial conversations still make me feel clueless?

2026-03-24T18:06:25-04:00

Financial literacy doesn’t have to feel punishing. | H. Armstrong Roberts/ClassicStock/Getty Images

When I was accused of being “financially illiterate” by a random guy in a bar during a conversation about investing last year, it knocked the wind out of me. After I completely flubbed my words in an attempt to stay afloat, I realized that a new form of anxiety had crept into my subconscious: I, a 36-year-old, grown-ass woman, know nothing about money.

I’m not sure how I ended up here. I’m incredibly type A — I pushed myself academically and athletically in school, and I continue throwing everything into my career. I support myself in full (I suppose because I’ve gotten lucky with jobs). But I couldn’t tell you my five- or 10-year investment strategy, let alone my plans for retirement. Truthfully, that lack of knowledge doesn’t just make me ashamed. It’s terrifying.

Paco de Leon, founder of the Hell Yeah Group and Hell Yeah Taxes, tells Vox that anxieties like mine are super common. “I’ve met plenty of folks from all different ages who are both confused by money and I’ve met plenty of folks who are actively trying to educate themselves on the topic,” she said by email, adding that the financial industry isn’t a “particularly welcoming environment.”

But, de Leon stresses, “confusion doesn’t have to be permanent. I’ve seen lots of folks go from confusion to turning their financial lives around. You don’t need to understand the entire financial system to start making progress.”

Here’s why it’s never too late to get your financial shit together — and how to take some impactful baby steps to get more comfortable.

Give yourself a break

A 2023 Pew Research Center survey found that roughly half of US adults felt like they knew a good deal or a fair amount about personal finances, 33 percent knew “some” stuff, and 13 percent didn’t know much or nothing at all. Another 2025 Pew survey found that the majority of Americans feel like they’re in either fair or poor shape with their finances — so money know-how clearly isn’t clicking in a universal way.

Some of this is likely driven by a cultural reticence to talk openly about finances, coupled with the pervasive belief that anyone who is struggling to make ends meet only has themself to blame. Katie Dow, a financial planner based in Bozeman, Montana, tells Vox that even within families, people don’t always discuss finances openly. “We talk about sex, drugs, and rock and roll more than we talk about money,” she says. “A lot of families don’t take the time to be like, Well, Mama makes this, and Daddy makes this, and this is how we budget.”

“Our school systems do a lot in theory, but in actual budgeting and tactical resources for daily life, we’ve missed that boat,” Dow adds. “We don’t do a lot of, This is a checking account; this is a savings account — very basic financial literacy topics that can improve what we do every day.”

Regardless of what led to your lack of financial literacy, it’s crucial to cut your former self some slack, Aja Evans, a New York City-based financial therapist, tells Vox. “You have to forgive the version of you who made the mistake and just say, I didn’t know. I cannot chastise myself about something I just didn’t know.”

Block 20 minutes of each day to do literally anything

If you try to tackle every money problem all at once, you’re going to feel overwhelmed fast. “The easiest first step you can take right now is to set aside 20 minutes every week for weekly finance time and start showing up,” de Leon says. “Don’t worry about what you’ll do during this time. Just block it off and take it seriously.”

For example, de Leon suggests, perhaps you just assemble all of your financial logins in the first week of check-ins. Then, in your second week, you assess your student loans. “Maybe the third week, you call your cellphone provider to ask them why they keep raising your monthly fee,” she says. “Allow yourself the space, and you’ll be surprised to see how this area of your life expands.”

Another way to spend your 20-minute productive period? Pick up a book or cue up a podcast — just getting more money talk, no matter how small, into your daily routine can help. Evans is a fan of the book that de Leon authored, Finance for the People: Getting a Grip on Your Finances. De Leon personally likes How to Be a Rich Old Lady by Amanda Holden and Rich Girl Nation: Taking Charge of Our Financial Futures by Katie Gatti Tassin. Dow listens to Afford Anything and NerdWallet’s Smart Money Podcast for tips.

Bring financial topics into everyday conversations

According to Dow, discussing money more is an important first step toward true empowerment. “Whether it’s a financial adviser, a partner at home, whether it’s a parent, just being able to openly talk about money, just get practice talking about money…will help reduce the amount of anxiety when those questions come up in the future,” she says.

Dow adds that these conversations can highlight learning opportunities (say, your friend recently got an accountant and can lend you that knowledge) or just give you space to vent. And while the cost of hiring a pro might feel counterintuitive to your goals, Dow compares the extra fee to a personal trainer if you’re trying to boost your health: You can do the work yourself, but it helps to have someone mentor you. “Investing in your own coach, [be it] a financial coach or financial adviser, can be really, really helpful in that money journey,” Dow says.

Stephanie Watson, a financial adviser at Northwestern Mutual in New York City, tells Vox that most financial advisors (including her and her colleagues) offer complimentary introductory sessions — you really only start paying once you become a regular client. So, at a baseline, enlisting the help of a financial pro can help direct the conversation about your goals.

Map out your income, where it’s going every month, and the places you want it to go

Use a couple of your 20-minute check-ins to really take inventory of your current financial situation. “How much is coming in? How much is going out? That’s really going to be the bedrock of any foundational plan,” Watson says. She recommends using a budgeting app (her go-to is Rocket Money) to make the process a little less cumbersome.

Next, figure out how much you need to cover…everything, de Leon says. “Living expenses, bills, debt payments, fun stuff, savings, and goals — if you aren’t earning enough to support that, then start moving levers,” she says.

A “lever” could mean increasing your income (easier said than done, obviously) or reducing overhead like your rent or car payments (also difficult), but there are some low-lift ways to move money around, too. For example, Watson often suggests her clients look into a high-yield savings account. These tend to have much higher interest rates than traditional savings accounts, so your cash grows faster while it’s just sitting there. “That’s one really easy way that you can make more money,” Watson says.

Speaking of savings: “Make it a nonnegotiable habit to save/invest a portion of every dollar you earn,” de Leon says. “Think about it [in] terms of percentages. Start where you can. Maybe that’s only 5 percent, but you want to grow that to 10 percent, then 20 percent, then 30 percent.” The first thing you should save for is an emergency fund, which is three to six months of your expenses. Once that’s in place, de Leon says to start funneling money into retirement.

Watson is also a fan of setting up a high-yield savings account, if only because you won’t be as tempted to touch it. “If it’s a savings [account] attached to your checking, it might feel kind of like free money,” she says. “So if you put it somewhere else, it’s going to trick your brain into leaving it alone.” (Here’s a more comprehensive rundown on how to plan for retirement.)

FYI: You don’t have to familiarize yourself with every economic term in the book, but de Leon says it’s worth understanding one thing: how compounding interest works. Here’s a quick overview: When you deposit money into a retirement account, that amount (called your principal) will grow (thanks to interest, which is the money the bank pays each month you for storing your money with them). Interest is calculated as a percentage of your principal. So as time goes on, you earn interest not just on the money you’ve deposited, but also on the money the bank is paying you. So the longer your money stays there, the more money you’ll earn, depending on the interest rate.

“Compounding is the single-most powerful concept in all of finance,” she says. “When it’s working for you, in a retirement account or an index fund, it’s magic. But when it’s working against you, like on a credit card balance that you’re only making minimum payments on, it’s devastating.”

Whatever you do, don’t put off financial education because you think it’s too late for you

When I had that awkward conversation with the guy in the bar last year, I felt inadequate, largely because money feels like something people in their thirties should have a firm grip on. It frightens me that I might not have a solid plan for retirement, or even enough saved for a catastrophic emergency. The fear can make it hard to do anything.

So when both Watson and Dow said that several of their clients start having money conversations for the first time in their 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond, I felt a lot of relief. “When is the best time to plant a tree? Yesterday. When is the next-best time to plant a tree? Today,” Dow says. “That is the exact same thing when it comes to money. … It’s never too late, but let’s get started today.”

Again, none of this needs to feel cumbersome right out of the gate: Simply take a little time every week to educate yourself and assess your money and your goals. And now that you’ve read through this article, I promise, you’re nowhere near as ‘financially illiterate’ as you (or some random drunk stranger at a bar) might believe.

Correction, March 24, 5:45 pm ET: A previous version of this post misdescribed Katie Dow’s profession.

So you owe the IRS a lot of money? Here’s what to do.

2026-03-18T14:04:27-04:00

Warm temps and patio happy hours are on the horizon, so you know what that means: It’s time to play the IRS’s favorite twisted (and forced) guessing game — we’re going to make you figure out how much you owe us in taxes, even though we already know!

If you aren’t super financially savvy — which, if you graduated from the US school system, where learning to square dance took precedence over financial literacy, might be the case — that lack of knowing might feel anxiety-inducing. And if you discover you actually owe the IRS an eye-popping amount of money, this stress can quickly turn suffocating.

If that’s the case for you this year, know that you’re not alone, Lee Frisari, a San Francisco-based enrolled agent, tax adviser, and co-founder of Hell Yeah Taxes, tells Vox. “The tax system is broken in ways that burn people for doing well and burn them for struggling,” he says. “Everybody’s navigating their own version of the same fight.”

Importantly, Frisari adds, getting a hefty tax bill doesn’t mean you did anything wrong — and there are plenty of ways to dig yourself out. Here’s exactly what to do if you owe a lot to the IRS this year.

1) Do absolutely nothing for a few days

If the IRS is demanding that you pay a four — or, gasp, five! — figure amount, you might start to panic. That’s a completely normal, human reaction, Aja Evans, a New York City-based financial therapist, tells Vox. Money worries can invoke something very primal within us, because it’s so closely tied to our sense of safety and security. “I want to know that I can take care of my kids or my aging parents. … If you do not have the money to do that, that is very triggering,” Evans says.

(By the way, if your immediate fear is that you’re going to be carted off in handcuffs, know that there’s an extremely slim chance you’d go to jail over all this, Frisari says. “The IRS doesn’t want to destroy lives; it wants its share,” he says. “There are so many steps and opportunities to course-correct before it ever gets there.”)

Evans says that getting a hold of your emotions before making any big decisions about how you’ll pay what you owe is absolutely crucial. “Please, please do not move your money or do anything with your money when you are stressed out or feeling like you are in crisis,” she says. “You do not need to do anything right this moment. You need to calm down and get your body out of fight-or-flight and…into regulation so that you can plan.”

What does that look like? Evans says it can be different for everyone, but engaging in some deep breathing exercises or meditation is a solid start. Beyond that, Evans says that getting outside (touch grass — literally!) is another good idea, as short walks in nature can tamp down anxiety. Putting on your comfort show or favorite album can also help.

The other important thing, Evans says, is to temporarily mute any finance-related apps until you can feel your body coming out of that danger zone. “The second you open your bank account or credit card statement, the anxiety can be very quick,” she says.

2) Understand that owing money is completely normal

Try to be gentle with yourself when facing a sky-high IRS bill. A lot of adults simply don’t know how to navigate this stuff, and you’re doing the best you can with the information you have. “One of our favorite ways as humans to deal with discomfort is to beat ourselves up,” Evans says. “It’s all right to feel bad. What we’re not going to do is be mean to yourself because you made a mistake. You are allowed to make a mistake.”

Plus, the US tax system is pretty complex — that’s why there’s a literal career path dedicated to helping people navigate everything. “Tax outcomes fluctuate because income and life circumstances change,” Eric Bronnenkant, CPA, the head of tax at Edelman Financial Engines in New York City, tells Vox. “Raises, bonuses, side income, marriage, divorce, children, investment gains, and tax credits can all affect the final calculation. Even modest income changes can shift someone into a different tax bracket or reduce eligibility for certain deductions.” Basically, a lot of factors that determine what you owe are out of your control.

The bottom line, Evans says: “Your family still loves you. Your life will still be okay. You just need to create a plan.”

3) Talk to a financial pro or folks in similar situations

Bronnenkant says that the IRS can definitely make mistakes, including missing documentation, incorrectly reported income, or even processing errors. Someone well-versed in taxes, like a CPA, might be able to help you find any deductions to shave off the amount you owe, or appeal the IRS’s decision. He also recommends checking out a government site called the Taxpayer Advocate Service, where you can get help for some outstanding filing and return questions.

Still, when you’re faced with a sky-high fee, enlisting the help of a costly financial pro might not be feasible. In that case, Evans suggests polling people in similar situations for advice. For example, if you’re a first-year freelancer, are there any communities you can reach out to — say, a professional meetup group or even folks in a Reddit thread — to see how they’ve approached taxes? Again, you’re not the first person to owe this much.

4) Map out a realistic plan to pay things off

At some point, Frisari says, you’re going to need to reach out to the Big, Bad IRS. But they’re expecting your call, and for the most part, are ready to help. “Payment plans are always an option,” he says, adding that if you owe under $50,000, you’ll be automatically approved, no negotiation needed. While loans for higher amounts have a longer approval process, Frisari says they’re still pretty attainable.

“Blowing your emergency fund to zero starts a vicious cycle that can lead to credit card debt, and that’s a much worse place to be.”
Lee Frisari, New York City-based tax adviser and co-founder of Hell Yeah Taxes

“When it comes to debt, IRS debt is the best debt there is,” Frisari says. “Probably the weirdest answer nobody was expecting, but it’s true.” As he explains, an interest rate on an IRS payment plan is about 7 percent APR, while a credit card can be closer to 20 percent. Meanwhile, something like medical debt can quickly get sent to collections if unpaid. “If you have to carry debt somewhere, the IRS should be the last creditor you pay off, not the first,” he says. So while you could also ask friends or family for help, all the experts interviewed for this piece agreed that the IRS installment plans are a good option for most people.

“Drawing out your debt with the IRS is actually the smart play because of those low interest rates,” Frisari adds. “My advice for folks who can’t afford their bill is to go into the longest-term payment plan they’ll give you, pay the minimum they’ll accept, and if you can pay more later, throw extra at the bill. That does the least harm to your life.”

There are some additional options too. Bronnenkant says that delaying your payment can be one way to go. “If you truly own nothing and can’t pay, you can submit an offer in compromise,” Frisari says. “I’ve seen someone with a $50,000 IRS bill negotiate it down to $7,000 because they had no assets, no savings, no inheritance coming. … But if you own a car, a house, and have a retirement account, then the ballgame changes. They know you can pay.”

Try not to use your savings, though, Frisari warns: “Blowing your emergency fund to zero starts a vicious cycle that can lead to credit card debt, and that’s a much worse place to be.”

5) Plan to do things differently next year

You’re not stupid for owing a lot in taxes. The financial world is confusing and chaotic, but there are a few things you can do now to ensure you don’t owe a mega-ton next year too.

“For W-2 employees, it’s a good idea to glance at your W-4 at least once a year — especially if something big changes, like a raise, bonus, marriage, divorce, or a new child,” Bronnenkant says. (FYI: A W-4 is the form your employer has you fill out when starting a new job, so they can withhold the right amount of federal income tax from your paycheck. If you want to review it or make changes, check in with HR or whoever handles payroll at your company.) “Those life updates can shift your tax picture more than you think.” He says that the IRS withholding estimator is pretty helpful “if you want to fine-tune things and avoid surprises.”

As for 1099 workers or business owners, start planning for your taxes for the following year in January (or right now — it’s never too late). “Save a percentage of every dollar you earn,” Frisari says. “Think of it like training a muscle. If 10 percent is all you can manage right now, start there.” He says it’s also a good idea to understand your business expenses, as deductions and credits can make your final bill to the IRS more reasonable.

And though it can be hard when friends are talking about blowing their entire tax refund on something fun, remember that you’re not the only one who has ever owed the IRS money. So try to push through any feelings of shame, reach out to folks in similar work situations, lean on your inner circle for emotional support, and maybe try to unlearn how to square dance entirely to save up brain space for your 2026 return.

Update, March 18, 2 pm ET: This piece was originally published on March 17 and was updated with information on where Lee Frisari is currently based.