<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><feed
	xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom"
	xmlns:thr="http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0"
	xml:lang="en-US"
	>
	<title type="text">Rachael Denhollander | Vox</title>
	<subtitle type="text">Our world has too much noise and too little context. Vox helps you understand what matters.</subtitle>

	<updated>2019-08-14T20:42:01+00:00</updated>

	<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://www.vox.com/author/rachael-denhollander" />
	<id>https://www.vox.com/authors/rachael-denhollander/rss</id>
	<link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="https://www.vox.com/authors/rachael-denhollander/rss" />

	<icon>https://platform.vox.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/08/vox_logo_rss_light_mode.png?w=150&amp;h=100&amp;crop=1</icon>
		<entry>
			
			<author>
				<name>Rachael Denhollander</name>
			</author>
			
			<title type="html"><![CDATA[I faced Larry Nassar in court. Epstein’s accusers should have had the same chance.]]></title>
			<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://www.vox.com/first-person/2019/8/14/20805528/jeffrey-epstein-justice-court-larry-nassar" />
			<id>https://www.vox.com/first-person/2019/8/14/20805528/jeffrey-epstein-justice-court-larry-nassar</id>
			<updated>2019-08-14T16:42:01-04:00</updated>
			<published>2019-08-14T14:30:00-04:00</published>
			<category scheme="https://www.vox.com" term="archives" />
							<summary type="html"><![CDATA[It&#8217;s a story that survivors know only too well. Manipulation and careful grooming. The assault. Crushing shame, helplessness, and hopelessness. And then for those who dare to report, who dare to reach for justice, there is the follow-up chapter. The next betrayal. Sometimes, that next betrayal is from an investigator who just can&#8217;t be bothered, [&#8230;]]]></summary>
			
							<content type="html">
											<![CDATA[

						
<figure>

<img alt="" data-caption="Rachael Denhollander, who was sexually abused by Larry Nassar, speaks to the press after Nassar’s sentencing hearing in Eaton County Circuit Court on February 5, 2018, in Charlotte, Michigan.  | Scott Olson/Getty Images" data-portal-copyright="Scott Olson/Getty Images" data-has-syndication-rights="1" src="https://platform.vox.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/chorus/uploads/chorus_asset/file/18971919/GettyImages_914539324.jpg?quality=90&#038;strip=all&#038;crop=0,0,100,100" />
	<figcaption>
	Rachael Denhollander, who was sexually abused by Larry Nassar, speaks to the press after Nassar’s sentencing hearing in Eaton County Circuit Court on February 5, 2018, in Charlotte, Michigan.  | Scott Olson/Getty Images	</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>It&rsquo;s a story that survivors know only too well. Manipulation and careful grooming. The assault. Crushing shame, helplessness, and hopelessness. And then for those who dare to report, who dare to reach for justice, there is the follow-up chapter. The next betrayal.</p>

<p>Sometimes, that next betrayal is from an <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2019/08/an-epidemic-of-disbelief/592807/">investigator who just can&rsquo;t be bothered</a>, or is simply <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/18/sports/steve-penny-usa-gymnastics-fbi.html">corrupt</a>.<sup> </sup>Sometimes the betrayal is from a jury so steeped in <a href="https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/cosby-juror-suggests-because-andrea-010015729.html">cultural rape myths</a> they can&rsquo;t imagine the most horrific moments of a survivor&rsquo;s life weren&rsquo;t consensual. Sometimes, it&rsquo;s from a <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/22/opinion/armed-forces-rape.html">judge</a>.</p>

<p>What we have seen unfold in the Jeffrey Epstein case is nearly every survivor&rsquo;s story: a slice of the survivor experience, put under a microscope. Yes, the details here are heightened: A rich, powerful abuser who groomed and manipulated, surrounded by rich, powerful men, enabled by a system designed to keep those men rich and powerful. And one last act that ensured the survivors would never get their day in court. &nbsp;</p>
<img src="https://platform.vox.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/chorus/uploads/chorus_asset/file/18971931/GettyImages_1154615733.jpg?quality=90&#038;strip=all&#038;crop=0,0,100,100" alt="" title="" data-has-syndication-rights="1" data-caption="A protest group called “Hot Mess” hold up signs of Jeffrey Epstein in front of the Federal courthouse on July 8, 2019 in New York City. | Stephanie Keith/Getty Images" data-portal-copyright="Stephanie Keith/Getty Images" />
<p>But the betrayals at the heart of the Epstein case are familiar to all survivors: the abuse itself; followed by lawyers who allegedly dug through survivors&rsquo; pasts, looking for ways to blame the victim; an attorney who cut a legally questionable deal that silenced the women who dared to raise their voice.</p>

<p>I was given a gift that few survivors are afforded. In January 2018, after a long and difficult process, I, along with more than a hundred &ldquo;sister survivors,&rdquo; was able to confront my abuser in court. I was given the gift of hearing former USA Gymnastics doctor <a href="https://www.vox.com/identities/2018/1/25/16928994/larry-nassar-mckayla-maroney-gymnastics-me-too">Larry Nassar</a> admit in court that he had abused us for his own sick pleasure, and I was given the gift of hearing the judge sentence him to a lifetime in prison. We were given the gift of a measure of vindication, of closure, and of justice &mdash; all things that have now been denied to Epstein&rsquo;s accusers.</p>
<h2 class="wp-block-heading">We should be angry — and we should act</h2>
<p>We should be angry. Angry that these survivors &mdash; little girls that they were &mdash; were denied justice and silenced the first time they raised their voices over a decade ago. We examine the past and see that had one person done the right thing, justice would have come years ago. And now it never will. We should be angry that they have been denied their day in court again. After everything they have done to shine a light where darkness lay for so long, they will forever be denied the right to face their abuser in court. It&rsquo;s wrong, and it should make us angry. It should make us weep.</p>

<p>It should also make us act. We have a chance for self-reflection: Was our interest in the Epstein case merely a chance to gawk at a monster, and watch the drama as his case wound its way through the system? Or are we truly horrified for his victims and determined to ensure something like this is not tolerated again? Do we care enough to do something? And what can we do if justice never comes?</p>
<img src="https://platform.vox.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/chorus/uploads/chorus_asset/file/18971950/GettyImages_909745120.jpg?quality=90&#038;strip=all&#038;crop=0,0,100,100" alt="" title="" data-has-syndication-rights="1" data-caption="" data-portal-copyright="" />
<p>First and foremost, we can stand with the survivors. Tell the story of the sacrifices they made to stop an evil man who&rsquo;d been protected for so long. We can use the right words so the full force of what they are telling us can hit home. Stop saying &ldquo;sex with minors&rdquo; when it&rsquo;s the rape of a child. Stop saying &ldquo;solicited prostitutes,&rdquo; when it is trafficked and exploited children.</p>

<p>The evidence against Epstein is still there. We&rsquo;re missing some pieces, but we can learn from what we have. So let&rsquo;s amplify the voices that have been trying to tell us what it is like for more than a decade. Let&rsquo;s use this case to dispel cultural myths about rape and abuse. To show how power and money are wielded. To expose how traffickers work, and how those who help them operate.</p>

<p>Seeking to understand this case means that we must insist on answers about how he got away with it. We must demand a real<em> </em>investigation into the plea deal that silenced the survivors the first time. We need to wrestle with the hard questions, like what we need to do better to give survivors recourse if investigators or prosecutors are corrupt or simply don&rsquo;t care.</p>

<p>We can realize that the men who gave a sex trafficker the deal of the century &mdash; the men who acted like the rape of children didn&rsquo;t matter if it was done by someone with money &mdash; are disqualified themselves from positions of power and influence. We can tell the truth about the men who enabled a child trafficker, and demand they are never given power again.</p>
<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Epstein is gone. But the investigation must continue.</h2>
<p>We can push for the current investigation to continue. Epstein kept records. Documents and witnesses remain. Investigators need to do everything they can to find out who was involved and bring the full weight of the law against those individuals, whether they are abusers themselves, or enablers.</p>

<p>We can refuse to make this partisan. If records implicate someone in power as being an abuser or enabler alongside Epstein, it doesn&rsquo;t matter if that person has an &ldquo;R&rdquo; or a &ldquo;D&rdquo; by their name. We should want the truth in our communities just as fiercely as we want it elsewhere; we should want it <em>more</em>. And we can refuse to use the suffering of young women and children as political fodder against one party or another, one candidate or another. Push for the truth in your community. Hold yourself accountable to see it.&nbsp;</p>

<p>Epstein is gone, and so is the chance for the survivors to face him in court. We must affirm that this loss is real. It wouldn&rsquo;t have happened had many people done the right thing. But the survivors are still here. His victims have quite literally survived him. We can support them, learn from them, and speak the truth about them. What they have done matters, and is a gift for the rest of us. May we be wise enough to accept it.</p>
<img src="https://platform.vox.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/chorus/uploads/chorus_asset/file/18971952/AP_18024588082518.jpg?quality=90&#038;strip=all&#038;crop=0,0,100,100" alt="" title="" data-has-syndication-rights="1" data-caption="Denhollander, center, is hugged after giving her victim impact statement during Larry Nassar’s sentencing hearing Wednesday, January 24, 2018, in Lansing, Michigan. | Carlos Osorio/AP" data-portal-copyright="Carlos Osorio/AP" />
<p><em>Rachael Denhollander is a lawyer and author in Louisville, Kentucky. Her memoir, </em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/What-Girl-Worth-Breaking-Gymnastics/dp/1496441338">What Is a Girl Worth?</a> <em>releases in September. Find her on Twitter&nbsp;</em><a href="https://twitter.com/R_Denhollander?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor"><em><strong>@r_denhollander</strong></em></a><em>.</em></p>
<hr class="wp-block-separator" />
<p><a href="http://www.vox.com/first-person"><strong>First Person</strong></a>&nbsp;is Vox&rsquo;s home for compelling, provocative narrative essays. Do you have a story to share? Read our&nbsp;<a href="http://www.vox.com/2015/6/12/8767221/vox-first-person-explained"><strong>submission guidelines</strong></a>, and pitch us at&nbsp;<a href="mailto:firstperson@vox.com"><strong>firstperson@vox.com</strong></a>.</p>

<p>&nbsp;</p>
						]]>
									</content>
			
					</entry>
			<entry>
			
			<author>
				<name>Rachael Denhollander</name>
			</author>
			
			<title type="html"><![CDATA[I’m a sexual assault survivor. And a conservative. The Kavanaugh hearings were excruciating.]]></title>
			<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://www.vox.com/first-person/2018/10/15/17968534/kavanaugh-vote-supreme-court-sexual-assault-christine-blasey-ford" />
			<id>https://www.vox.com/first-person/2018/10/15/17968534/kavanaugh-vote-supreme-court-sexual-assault-christine-blasey-ford</id>
			<updated>2018-10-16T09:44:49-04:00</updated>
			<published>2018-10-16T09:45:09-04:00</published>
			<category scheme="https://www.vox.com" term="#MeToo" /><category scheme="https://www.vox.com" term="Life" /><category scheme="https://www.vox.com" term="Politics" />
							<summary type="html"><![CDATA[The real litmus test of whether our society cares about sexual abuse is how we respond when the allegations are against someone in our community. We have failed that test. Just a few days ago, Brett Kavanaugh was confirmed to take his seat on the highest court of our land. A contentious hearing followed Christine [&#8230;]]]></summary>
			
							<content type="html">
											<![CDATA[

						
<figure>

<img alt="" data-caption="Brett Kavanaugh testifying during the Senate Judiciary Committee hearing on his nomination to the Supreme Court. | Tom Williams-Pool/CQ Roll Call" data-portal-copyright="Tom Williams-Pool/CQ Roll Call" data-has-syndication-rights="1" src="https://platform.vox.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/chorus/uploads/chorus_asset/file/13172477/GettyImages_1041985980.jpg?quality=90&#038;strip=all&#038;crop=0,0,100,100" />
	<figcaption>
	Brett Kavanaugh testifying during the Senate Judiciary Committee hearing on his nomination to the Supreme Court. | Tom Williams-Pool/CQ Roll Call	</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>The real litmus test of whether our society cares about sexual abuse is how we respond when the allegations are against someone in our community. We have failed that test.</p>

<p>Just a few days ago, <a href="https://www.vox.com/2018/7/9/17548782/brett-kavanaugh-trump-supreme-court-anthony-kennedy">Brett Kavanaugh was confirmed</a> to take his seat on the highest court of our land. A contentious hearing followed Christine Blasey Ford&rsquo;s accusation that Kavanaugh sexually assaulted her as a teenager, and the impact of his confirmation will extend far beyond the decisions he may make while seated.</p>

<p>The entire process hit a little too close to home. I&rsquo;m a sexual assault survivor who was forced to take a <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/26/opinion/sunday/larry-nassar-rachael-denhollander.html">very public stand</a> against a prominent abuser &mdash; <a href="https://www.vox.com/identities/2018/1/19/16897722/sexual-abuse-usa-gymnastics-larry-nassar-explained">Larry Nassar</a>. I&rsquo;m also an evangelical with primarily conservative political positions.</p>

<p>My religious community applauded me for standing against Nassar and his enablers while, in the same breath, condemned me for speaking against religious institutions that mishandled abuse. My knowledge of the law and dynamics of abuse were welcomed when it impacted the &ldquo;secular&rdquo; world of Michigan State University, and discounted completely when I expressed concerns about prominent religious leaders in my own church.</p>

<p>More often than not, we are only willing to support survivors so long as their allegations don&rsquo;t impinge on our community, its members, or our overall goals. But as soon as it&rsquo;s someone from our own tribe &mdash; when it actually costs us to care &mdash; the verbal and mental contortions ensue to explain why this allegation of abuse is &ldquo;different.&rdquo;</p>
<h2 class="wp-block-heading">The comfort of condemning sexual abusers outside of one’s own tribe</h2>
<p>This level of community protectionism was on display again in the way that so many conservatives and <a href="https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2018/10/6/17940956/brett-kavanaugh-supreme-court-senate-confirmation-republicans-yolo">Republicans responded</a> to the sexual assault and misconduct allegations against Kavanaugh, which he has denied.</p>

<p>We do not even need to reach any final determinations about Ford&rsquo;s claims to realize that the response she received from Kavanaugh&rsquo;s political community was devastating. Immediate accusations of fabricating her story, wanting attention, or lying for political gain, while the responses to the evidence she brought with her &mdash; most importantly, prior disclosures of the abuse to a therapist and her husband &mdash; were discounted.</p>

<p>On the flip side, the &ldquo;evidence&rdquo; wielded against Ford, such as gaps in her memory, was easily explainable by anyone who understands <a href="https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2018/9/20/17879768/brett-kavanaugh-christine-blasey-ford-trump-memory-psychology">the impact of trauma</a> and normal victim responses to sexual assault. At a minimum, what Republicans were, and were not, willing to accept as evidence was not based in any informed understanding of sexual abuse, or even consistent with past stances we&rsquo;ve taken for others who alleged abuse by our own political &ldquo;opponents.&rdquo;</p>

<p>Both sides have been guilty of this. Democrats have made the same excuses as Republicans when <a href="https://www.vox.com/2016/1/6/10722580/bill-clinton-juanita-broaddrick">survivors spoke up against Bill Clinton</a> with sexual assault and misconduct allegations years ago. It&rsquo;s so much easier to unequivocally condemn abuse until doing so would require speaking out against one&rsquo;s own candidate.</p>
<h2 class="wp-block-heading">At the end of the day, survivors suffer</h2>
<p>I&rsquo;m continually struck at how isolating being a survivor is. Had I had the misfortune of being abused by someone in my own &ldquo;conservative community,&rdquo; the support I currently have from many in that realm would not only dissipate, but transform into vitriolic attacks. In fact, my statements criticizing the conservative response to Ford was enough to receive substantial backlash from former supporters. Survivors everywhere, myself included, were reminded that support for sexual assault survivors extends only so far as it doesn&rsquo;t endanger our supporter&rsquo;s community.</p>

<p>This problem is not unique to politics. I have experienced it in former churches, when I was praised in one breath for the stand against enablers at MSU and USA Gymnastics, and condemned for speaking out against religious organizations that have also been credibly accused of mishandling reports of childhood sexual abuse. I have been attacked by fans of other universities that have had similar scandals, by Democrats and Republicans at varying points in time, by close friends and complete strangers, anytime someone in their own community, be it political, religious, athletic or otherwise, was the focus.</p>

<p>But the fact that all groups have this response is no excuse for what is happening now. Whether another community acts rightly is no excuse for our decision not to, and like I tell my own young children, &ldquo;You are responsible for your behavior, and your behavior alone.&rdquo; Right now, as a conservative, I am distressed about the behavior of my side of the aisle. Because it&rsquo;s not that hard to respond properly to allegations of sexual assault. We simply need to realize it matters, then act like it.</p>

<p>While the right way to respond isn&rsquo;t that difficult, the wrong response is devastating. I know what it is like to be the teenage survivor watching the way the world around me treated sexual assault survivors who spoke up.</p>

<p>In our rush to get a conservative nominee, we have forgotten that there are hundreds of other survivors out there who are now the teenage survivor I once was. Who have heard, &ldquo;It doesn&rsquo;t matter what someone did years ago.<em>&rdquo;</em> Who have seen a woman vilified, attacked, and even subjected to death threats after making an allegation of abuse. The impact of sending that message across our country is greater and more devastating than we will ever know, because we have silenced the voices that would otherwise tell us.</p>

<p>Soon it will be another community faced with the choice of how to respond to an allegation against &ldquo;one of their own,&rdquo; and what message they will send to survivors everywhere. But this time it was the conservative community that had to make that choice, and it was not done well. So to my community, and every community, I echo the words I said during the Nassar sentencing hearings, to the communities that didn&rsquo;t listen to reports against my abuser: &ldquo;Do it better the next time.&rdquo;</p>

<p><em>Rachael Denhollander is a lawyer in Louisville, Kentucky. Find her on Twitter </em><a href="https://twitter.com/R_Denhollander?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor"><em>@r_denhollander</em></a><em>.</em></p>
<hr class="wp-block-separator" />
<p><a href="http://www.vox.com/first-person"><strong>First Person</strong></a>&nbsp;is Vox&rsquo;s home for compelling, provocative narrative essays. Do you have a story to share? Read our&nbsp;<a href="http://www.vox.com/2015/6/12/8767221/vox-first-person-explained"><strong>submission guidelines</strong></a>, and pitch us at&nbsp;<a href="mailto:firstperson@vox.com"><strong>firstperson@vox.com</strong></a>.</p>
						]]>
									</content>
			
					</entry>
	</feed>
