On Thursday, California Gov. Gavin Newsom announced a “stay at home” order for the state’s almost 40 million residents, in effect until further notice. On Friday, New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo followed suit, saying “we’re all under quarantine now.” Illinois Gov. J.B. Pritzker is expected to ask residents to do the same starting on Saturday. 

All are examples of dramatic action, often called “shelter in place,” in response to the coronavirus pandemic. It’s worth noting, though, that Cuomo specifically declined to use the words “shelter in place,” saying it caused more panic than was necessary. “Words matter,” he said, according to the New York Times. 

So what do these words, in particular, mean? Vox talked to Wendy Mariner, the Edward R. Utley professor of health law at Boston University School of Public Health, to help bring some clarity. 

What exactly is “shelter in place”? 

While it sounds official, “‘shelter in place’ is not a legal term,” Mariner says. It’s a shorthand for public announcements to convey a set of restrictions, but on its own, it has no set definition of what is allowed. 

The terms of each shelter-in-place announcement are spelled out through the specific protocols of a city or state. Keeping 6 feet apart is a good example of one instruction that might be included in such an announcement. 

Ultimately, the intent of the protocols is to “decide what people should and shouldn’t do based on a particular threat to the public,” says Mariner.  

As an example, she says that after the Boston Marathon bombings in 2013, while law enforcement searched for the suspects, there was a shelter-in-place protocol that people stay off the streets in order to be out of the line of fire. 

With the coronavirus, the intent is to maintain social distance. When thinking about what you can and can’t do in these instances, think about it through that lens. 

Who can declare a shelter in place? 

Ultimately, the state has the power. But cities and towns can take individual action if they have prior authority from the state government. For example, Los Angeles county officials had announced a “safer at home” order right before Newsom made one for the state of California. 

How are shelter-in-place rules enforced? 

Shelter-in-place protocols are an official order, but they’re not easy to enforce — in part because of the human capital that would be needed to check up on every single individual. 

“All large-scale measures present obstacles to enforcement,” Mariner says. California’s order does mention that the state will take steps to ensure compliance and that it’s enforceable pursuant to state law, but it makes no mention of penalties. In a news conference quoted by the Associated Press, Newsom says he doesn’t expect police will be needed, as “social pressure already has led to social distancing throughout the state.” 

Can I leave the house?

A shelter-in-place order doesn’t mean that everybody has to be strictly homebound. Exemptions are usually made for essential services such as food, medicine, and health care, Mariner says, and staff for essential operations, like utility and communication companies, are still expected to go to work. (There’s already jostling among companies for what counts as essential; Polygon reported that GameStop is arguing it’s essential because it sells webcams and other tools useful for working from home.)

California’s order lays out what will remain open within the state: gas stations, banks, pharmacies, laundry services, and various food-related operations (such as grocery stores, farmers markets, food banks, convenience stores, and takeout and delivery restaurants). It also says that if people need to go out, “they should at all times practice social distancing.”

“It doesn’t sound draconian because it allows people to do what they need to do, just not everything that they like to do,” Mariner says.

Can people — like my babysitter — come to me? 

None of the current restrictions prevent you from having someone in your home or from driving to someone else’s, says Mariner. Child care is listed as an essential service in some orders, like New York’s. That said, it’s up to you, your family, and your child care provider to decide how social distancing should work in this situation, and what’s ethically sound for everyone involved.

Does shelter in place prohibit long-distance travel, like driving, or prevent people from leaving the state? 

None of the recent orders have mentioned anything about prohibiting driving. Essential workers still have to travel for their jobs and for services. Plus, a car is an enclosed space and maintains social distance, Mariner says. 

The Chicago Tribune reported that per Pritzker’s Illinois orders, “all local roads, including the interstate highways and tollways, will remain open to traffic.” Cuomo also reiterated that roads would stay open. 

What about things that are important but not necessarily essential? Can I walk my dog? Drive to my local park? Help a neighbor in need? 

Mariner says it’s about respecting the intent of the order and thinking about what enforcement mechanisms exist. There’s no reason a person couldn’t walk, since “you won’t touch anyone,” she says. It’s the same with driving to the park. It’s your car; once you’re there, it’s about maintaining distance.

If your neighbor needs help, she says, “then you help. I can’t imagine anyone faulting you for that.”

As for the care of your pets, Newsom addressed that his press conference, saying that people “can still take their kids outside. … You can still walk your dog.”

For more about social distancing and the coronavirus pandemic, visit Vox’s guide.

In an effort to slow the spread of coronavirus, cities and states are implementing new restrictions, seemingly every hour. The most effective tool is for everyone to stay home, but that’s a tough ask, especially when you’re living with young kids.

“We are fundamentally social animals, and it’s very difficult for us to maintain isolation,” says Dr. John Williams, chief of the division of pediatric infectious diseases at UPMC Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh, in an email to Vox. 

But because kids tend to congregate, sneeze, cough, wipe their noses, hug, wrestle, and “put everything in their mouths,” says Crystal Watson, senior scholar at the Johns Hopkins Center for Health Security, being social comes with added risk. 

The new guidelines for everyone of limiting social contact and keeping six feet away make sense as part of a general containment effort, but that calculation gets trickier when kids are involved, especially for parents who have to work. The main question in that case remains, “I have to stay in this house with them for how many days?” followed quickly by “What do I actually do with them?”

Some options get eliminated as cities close down public services. No school. No libraries. No museums. No movies. But not everything can be locked to the public. And a lack of information has parents wondering: What exactly is safe?

Frustratingly, there are no absolutes. Families have to weigh risks versus the demands of work and their children. With that in mind, here’s what some experts recommend. 

Can I take my kids outside to play? Yes. Everyone needs to get outside. Kids especially need fresh air and movement, and you don’t have to be restricted to your backyard. But Meghan McGinty, affiliate associate professor at the University of Washington School of Public Health, puts it like this: “Think parks, not playgrounds.” If the former has enough open space, it’s easier to maintain the six-foot distance. Bring your own bats, balls, and toys, and clean them after each visit. This helps establish a routine and minimize the spread of germs within the family. 

Can they use the playground equipment? It’s a tighter space and a higher risk. Kids move quickly. They touch a lot of surfaces, and it’s impossible to wipe down everything, McGinty says. Watson acknowledges it’s not always practical to keep toddlers away. For her, the bigger issue is numbers. If the equipment is crowded with kids, it’s not safe. 

Can I have a playdate for my kids? Williams suggests not to in an effort to maintain social distancing. But some families might need to share child care coverage, so again, it’s about limiting the numbers; a general guide is limit playdates to two to three other kids. The essential element is to have a closed social circle — play with the same children all the time. “Then you know the exposures,” Watson says. 

Outdoors is preferable, but, if the playdate has to be inside, it’s key to stress maintaining the six-foot distance, not to share food or drinks, to sneeze into your elbow, and, when anyone walks into the house, make sure they wash their hands before doing anything else. You also want to regularly clean high-touch areas, such as doorknobs, switches, remote controls, and handles, McGinty says. 

Can we see the grandparents? No. It’s difficult for young kids to not hug, kiss, and sit on their grandparents, McGinty says, and anyone over 60 years old and with a chronic medical condition is at higher risk. It’s not the time to visit and it’s not the time for them to be babysitting. Instead, the grandparents should stay indoors and minimize all contacts. They, along with people with an underlying medical condition, are the most susceptible and the people who need to be protected during this time. 

Can I hire a babysitter? Possibly, and it might be necessary for child care since some parents will have to leave the house to work. McGinty says that with colleges being let out, parents have a potential babysitter pool of students coming back early. In a perfect world you’d want someone with CPR certification and first aid knowledge, but at the very least ask if they have any symptoms or have been exposed to anyone with coronavirus symptoms. It wouldn’t hurt to do temperature checks (anyone with a fever above 100.4F, coughing, or shortness of breath should stay home, though remember the virus can spread before people show symptoms.) Bonus points for a sitter who has done 14 days of self isolation. 

Watson suggests asking sitters about their attitude toward coronavirus. If it’s at all casual or blasé, keep looking. Whomever you hire, you want to stress maintaining good hygiene. 

Can I do a quick errand with my children? While children might not be at increased risk running an errand, the purpose of social distancing is to protect those who are most vulnerable and to limit the severity of the pandemic. McGinty offers a basic question to help determine if you proceed. “Is it really necessary to do?” 

Overall, she adds that parents shouldn’t feel pressure to engage in any of the above scenarios, regardless of what friends and neighbors are doing or even what the current recommendation is. It’s fine to be more (but not less) restrictive. If it doesn’t seem right for your family, then that’s your answer. “Parents should do what they feel is necessary to protect their children,” she says.

Steve Calechman has written on desalination systems and pasta water. He was a contributing editor for Men’s Health and his work has appeared in Happify, Harvard Heath, Fatherly, and Greater Good.