“Suicide chili” chicken wing martyred in attack on Australian PM Tony Abbott
Australian Prime Minister Tony “I’m a cruel, callow, callous, heartless bastard” Abbott ran into some trouble with a spicy chicken wing on Thursday.
Abbot, whose government made global headlines this week for its efforts to deport a ten-month-old infant to a detention center on the island of Nauru, was photographed grimacing in pain after biting into an American-style wing coated in “suicide chili sauce” while attending an event at the US embassy in Canberra.
There is no word yet about whether the chicken wing was retaliating against Abbot over reports that the Nauru detention center stands accused of permitting rampant child sexual abuse.
Photographic evidence of the chicken wing’s martyrdom was captured by Smoque, the “American BBQ” restaurant that catered the event held for Abbot at the US embassy, and posted on the restaurant’s Facebook page.
There is no video of the event, but presumably the chicken wing said something like this before it met its fate:
Since he took office in 2013, Abbott's government has earned a reputation for aggressively deporting immigrants and asylum-seekers, often to foreign detention centers with records of terrible mistreatment. His government has also run ad campaigns announcing proudly that asylum-seekers who flee to Australia for protection "will not make Australia home," and that that the Australian Navy would forcibly "turn back" any boats with asylum seekers on board.
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