Have you ever thought, You know, I’d dress up as a hamburger for Halloween, if only my costume idea were a little bit sexier? Happily, October is the season for ridiculous women’s costumes that try to represent real-life, totally unsexy things using as little fabric as possible.
Sexy Halloween costumes vs. the real-life objects they barely resemble
Libby Nelson was Vox’s editorial director, politics and policy, leading coverage of how government action and inaction shape American life. Libby has more than a decade of policy journalism experience, including at Inside Higher Ed and Politico. She joined Vox in 2014.
Here are a few of the most ridiculous “sexy” costumes out there, compared to what they’re supposed to represent:
Sexy grape costume vs. actual grapes
(Costume: Yandy. Grapes: Shutterstock)
On the other hand, these grapes for men are much more full-coverage.
Sexy parakeet vs. an actual parakeet
(Costume: Yandy. Parakeet: Shutterstock)
Strangely, there doesn't seem to be much of a market for non-sexy parakeet costumes, but this Japanese version looks like it could actually take flight.
Sexy jellyfish vs. an actual jellyfish
(Costume: Yandy. Jellyfish: Shutterstock)
Martha Stewart's version uses an umbrella and bubble wrap and definitely does not give jellyfish eyes in inappropriate places.
Sexy Waldo vs. real Waldo
Non-sexy option: Making Waldo sexy is way more challenging than a regular, warmer Waldo costume.
Sexy hamburger vs. an actual hamburger
(Costume: Yandy. Hamburger: Shutterstock)
You could also wear a hamburger around your midsection.
Sexy corn vs. some ears of actual corn
(Costume: Yandy. Corn: Shutterstock)
On the other hand, there's this full-coverage "corn stalker" (uh…) costume for men.
Sexy wolf vs. an actual wolf
(Costume: Yandy. Wolf: Shutterstock)
This wolf is still pretty sexy, but at least you’d be warmer.
Sexy French fries vs. actual French fries
(Costume: Yandy. Fries: Shutterstock)
On the other hand, there's this French fry tunic.
Sexy Marie Antoinette vs. actual Marie Antoinette
Actual Marie's neckline is lower, but her skirts are longer. All that extra material will cost you.
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