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Watch: Morgan Freeman, voice of God and penguins, narrates a bald man crossing the street

Constance Grady
Constance Grady is a senior correspondent on the Culture team for Vox, where since 2016 she has covered books, publishing, gender, celebrity analysis, and theater.

New rule: If you’re ever feeling down about your life, as if nothing you do even matters, immediately imagine that Morgan Freeman is narrating your every step. Your sheer existence will suddenly develop gravitas, and your every movement will be grounded by the dignity and power of Morgan Freeman, voice of God and penguins.

That’s the dream that came true for one lucky pedestrian on Hollywood Boulevard when Freeman stopped by Jimmy Kimmel Live on Thursday night. Freeman followed our bald, chewing hero down the block and across the street, narrating every step he took:

Ah, yeah. When I first saw the bald man, shirt buttoned all the way to the top, I didn’t think too much of it. But then he took a bite of something. There he was, chewing something, chewing something, jaws working hard. Hm. Looked both ways, chewing something. There he was, chewing and crossing … chewing and crossing.

Truly, it’s a cinematic moment that speaks to the existential burden we all experience. Because, in a sense, aren’t all of our lives an endless loop of chewing and crossing, chewing and crossing?

The bald man didn’t know why, but for some reason, those few moments he spent crossing the street felt extra meaningful.

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