Meghan Markle’s postpartum privacy could be good for moms

Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex, has given birth to a baby boy. But you can’t see him — yet.

When Kate Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge, had her three children, she and her husband Prince William posed for photos outside the hospital soon after each birth. Last year, the family was smiling on the hospital steps just seven hours after Prince Louis was born.

But earlier this year, Markle and her husband Prince Harry made headlines when they announced that they would be forgoing the hospital photo op, instead taking some time with the baby before releasing a photo.

Middleton, who emerged from each of her births well-dressed, professionally coiffed, and with barely a hint of a residual baby bump, was criticized by some for setting unrealistic standards for other moms, as Rachel Epstein notes at Marie Claire. The hospital photo ops may not have been her choice — the pictures have been a tradition for some time, according to Vanity Fair. But the recent rise in postpartum photography and popularity of post-birth photos on Instagram have upped the pressure on ordinary women to look camera-ready after birth, according to Dr. Randi Hutter Epstein, writer-in-residence at the Yale School of Medicine and author of Get Me Out: A History of Childbirth from the Garden of Eden to the Sperm Bank.

“It goes back to the same stupid pressures on women,” Epstein said. “You have to be the perfect mom, the perfect career person, the perfect physique.”

By pushing back against royal family tradition, Markle may have created space for less-famous women to eschew the delivery-room Instagram post. “She’s going through it in this really intimate way,” Epstein said, “and maybe it’ll make people cherish privacy.”

The tradition of royal-baby photos on the hospital steps dates back to at least 1981, when Princess Anne posed with baby Zara Tindall outside St. Mary’s Hospital in London, according to CNN. A year later, Princess Diana did the same with Prince William.

It wasn’t necessarily her choice. “She was aware of what the royal family is all about and what the certain traditions are attached to it and what is expected,” Dickie Arbiter, Princess Diana’s press spokesman at the time, told CNN. “And if you’re giving birth to the second in line to the throne then yes, it is your duty to come out and show him off.”

When Prince William grew up and had children of his own, he and Kate Middleton also posed on the steps of St. Mary’s. Middleton had difficult pregnancies — she had hyperemesis gravidarum, a severe form of morning sickness that can cause electrolyte imbalances, dehydration, and even death. Still, soon after giving birth each time, Middleton posed on the steps of St. Mary’s — with her hair perfectly blown out, no less.

Every birth is different, but for some new moms, just standing up long enough to pose for a picture can be difficult — especially if they had a C-section or significant vaginal tearing. And putting on a pretty dress for the camera a few hours after a major medical event — and life-changing family addition — is more than a lot of parents can manage, let alone afford.

Middleton’s perfect postpartum photos inspired some criticism. “It is hard enough for most new moms to deal with the unattainable goals of losing the baby weight as quickly as Hollywood starlets,” wrote Jaclyn Cashman at the Boston Herald after Prince Louis was born. “Now Princess Kate has added an extra layer of pressure for women by waltzing out of the hospital and not realizing the impact she has on mothers and pregnant women.”

As the mother of the heirs to the British throne, Middleton may not have had much choice in the matter. But the fact that the royal tradition dictates that a new mother stand outside the hospital looking beautiful mere hours after pushing a human out of her body is a reminder of the pressure mothers face to bounce back, both physically and emotionally, after giving birth.

That pressure may have intensified in recent years as birth and post-birth photography becomes more common. Parents have increasingly welcomed professional birth photographers into delivery rooms in recent years, the New York Times reported in 2012, with some photographers charging more than $1,000 for the service. And some parents choose to have a partner or doula document the experience with a smartphone.

In some cases, the photos can help show what birth really looks like, depicting the process in all its bloody reality. In 2010, nurse and mother Katie Vigos started the Empowered Birth Project, an initiative that lets people share photos of their births “to help create a world wherein all birthing people feel supported, empowered, and comfortable in their birth experiences.” Vigos successfully campaigned to stop Instagram from censoring the images, which sometimes include newborns crowning or half-in, half-out of the mother’s vagina, Allison Yarrow reported at Harper’s Bazaar.

But the rise of birth selfies on Instagram has also increased the pressure on women to project a very different image, that of the perfectly put-together mom who can fit into “skinny jeans” moments after birth, Epstein said.

“Women have always been under pressure to sort of do birth the right way,” she explained. And now, “because we are such a sharing society, everything seems to be everyone’s business.”

By choosing a more private post-birth experience, Markle is bucking that trend. In April, she and Prince Harry released a statement saying, “their Royal Highnesses have taken a personal decision to keep the plans around the arrival of their baby private. The Duke and Duchess look forward to sharing the exciting news with everyone once they have had an opportunity to celebrate privately as a new family.”

Rather than a hospital photo, the royal family released a birth announcement on Instagram.

Markle’s new baby is unlikely to inherit the throne — he’s seventh in line — which may have given Markle more freedom than Middleton when it came to managing publicity around the birth. But her family’s choice to keep the baby’s first few days private may help other parents reclaim some Instagram-free time together, if that’s what they want, Epstein said.

“Maybe it would give you this opportunity to say, oh wait, let’s enjoy this really intimate time together,” Epstein said. Plus, “without pictures you can have a distorted memory of how good you looked.”