Bad Kids Jokes is a Tumblr that offers exactly what the name promises. “I moderate jokes on a Kids Jokes website,” the person behind it writes, as though “kids jokes websites” are a recognizable genre of website. “A lot of joke submissions can’t be published because they don’t make any sense, the child got a genuine joke completely wrong, or they’re a bit too rude for kids … so I publish them here instead.”
I can’t stop reading these Dadaist jokes written by children
Dylan Matthews was a senior correspondent and head writer for Vox’s Future Perfect section. He is particularly interested in global health and pandemic prevention, anti-poverty efforts, economic policy and theory, and conflicts about the right way to do philanthropy.
The result is 33 pages of child-penned Dadaist nonsense, much of it concerning bodily discharges and/or the perfidy of teachers, and all of it hysterical.
There’s some zoological humor:
gess how many snakes there are
13
A lot of the jokes concern sports or other competitions, such as ham contests:
if you go to the ham contest wat will the man say
you won last year you are not alowed
Or bowling:
why did the skittle go bowling?
because he is part of bowling.
Given that the jokes are by children, a certain amount of butts-related content is to be expected:
WHAT DO YOU CALL A BALD MAN WITH A BUTT HEADED FACE?
The answer is butt man
As are challenges to teachers’ authority:
a boys name is shut up. his teacher asked him his name and he said “shut up” OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
This kid has intriguing beliefs about law enforcement:
why are policemen brave?
because they are robots
The author of this one has strong opinions about natural law:
A duck walks into a bar. A man runs out because its unnatural to have a duck in a bar.
I think this one is expressing progressive views on marriage equality but honestly it’s hard to say:
why did tom and jerry get married
Because tom was a boy and jerry was a boy and they were strong as a toliet.
This one suggests the author is emotionally prepared for a lifetime of arguing on the internet:
man: you are evil
other man: i am not
man:yes
no
yes
no
yes
no
yes
no
yes
no
[both mans die]
Read the rest here. Happy weekend, everybody.
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